This week, novelist Safinah Danish Elahi writes an exclusive piece for FLWL on what it means to become a writer in the absence of a clear path. A journey shaped as much by rejection as by recognition, unfolding alongside law degrees, publishing ventures, motherhood, and the long, often unseen and solitary work of building a voice. She writes this as she prepares to release her third novel, Chasing Shadows in Borrowed Light, this month.
By Safinah Danish Elahi
‘Where do you get your books printed from?’ is a question I get asked very often. Not to look down upon anyone who fancies this information, perhaps I also did not know, for a very long time, how an author ends up becoming an author. Someone also once said to me, ‘I’m thinking of writing a book, do you know someone who can write it for me?’
I did not, growing up, know I wanted to be an author. I did not know I could ever be one. I wasn’t especially good at writing, neither did my writing get noticed as being exceptional by anyone who ever read anything by me. I was, however, an avid reader. I experienced the world through the books I read and the people I met – perhaps that gave me an edge in my writing. A writer at a residency I attended once said no one below the age of forty should write a book, looking at me disapprovingly (without ever reading my three books), but I digress.
I was told when I was eighteen by my college professor, who awarded only one A- in his entire class at the American University of Sharjah, that this was something I should consider becoming – a writer.
I wrote lots of pieces through my twenties, a tough time in my personal life – young children, losing oneself pleasing others, and the shebang that comes with it. I decided to publish some of it in different magazines and ended up compiling a poetry collection.
I then began writing my first novel, an idea that came to me sitting at my daughter’s sports day. I did not know how to write a book. I plucked into my social circle, asking around, searching for literary events around the city, and finally found an editor whom I very frankly asked, ‘will anyone read this?’ Upon getting the answer in the affirmative, I went full speed and finished my 55,000-word manuscript, not knowing once again what to do with it. Any and every advice I received was vague and useless. I did luck out with Liberty Publishing, who at the time were launching Fatima Bhutto’s New Kings of the World, and I thought if Bhutto was okay with them publishing her work, then I should be too. I didn’t know she had multiple international publishers and likely a bomb agent who made all those deals happen. But I was happy to just be published. No agent in the picture yet.
I also, at the time, decided to launch my own publishing house. In my quest to find a platform for myself, I found out that there was such a dearth of a publishing platforms and so many brilliant voices around me were going unnoticed and unpublished. I started picking up projects, promising myself I would have the best practices (give authors an advance) and make maximum effort to promote (organize physical and online book tours for them).
I was also, at the time, doing a law degree – you know how I had lost myself and all; after attending two separate universities, I still did not hold a degree for my CV. So, I’d enrolled myself in a law program and had just finished the degree with my part-time teaching gig. Upon Covid hitting us, I quit teaching to join a law firm, where I began writing my second novel out of boredom, since my thirty-year-old self wasn’t assigned enough work at the firm.
The Idle Stance of the Tippler Pigeon was signed by Neem Tree Press in the UK and was set to be my first international release. Meanwhile, I had also begun my Master’s degree remotely at Emerson College Boston and was simultaneously selected for the prestigious Iowa Writer’s Residency, where I was to spend three months. I continued with my MFA there, since it was remote anyway, and Covid had somewhat settled enough for them to invite 32-odd writers to an in-person residency. There I met the most wonderful people I could’ve ever met and made friendships that will last me a lifetime. Away from kids and chaos, I began writing my third novel there. The second novel was signed but not out yet.
I came back from the residency having partly written the novel, and it took a lot to complete it – what helped was my goal to submit it as my thesis, so at least I had to abide by a timeline…I love timelines. My thesis advisor called it ‘the best she had ever read at Emerson.’
Inflated by her comment and my second novel’s nomination for the Asian Fiction Prize, I thought agents and publishers would be lining up to get rights to this new work. I learnt how to pitch properly, wrote to several agents and publishers heartily, and was excited to have finished writing this ‘Best at Emerson’ novel.
‘I am deeply moved by your characters, but I’m sorry, at this time it doesn’t fit my list.’
‘It’s quite bold and experimental. I’m not sure it’s ready yet. It needs work.’
‘You’re clearly a natural storyteller. Ultimately, though, I don’t feel the buzz I should feel for a project. I must pass on this opportunity and wish you the best of luck!’
These were some of the various rejections I received via email.
After about thirty-ish rejections, I really began to doubt if this one even deserved to be published. No publisher or agent had given me assurance that it would see the light of day. By then, I had started working on opening a sports club and was playing competitive padel, and writing started to feel like it was a faraway goal. The second novel made it to a shortlist but did not win. It seemed to be making it to a local veteran award shortlist, but lots of literary politics and some rumoured ‘whistle-blowing’ later, it unfortunately was discarded from the list, making way for some famous authors’ mediocre work. But that’s a story for another time.
Finally, in January of 2025, I got signed by an agent and a publisher. Over the next nine months, I worked with my publisher on multiple rounds of editing, making it the best possible version it could be – even better than the ‘Best at Emerson.’
Chasing Shadows in Borrowed Light is out currently in the Middle East and Africa, and will be followed by a release in the UK and Pakistan. My two children, one husband, and I couldn’t be prouder.
Every time I am able to share my work with the world, I am extremely nervous and only partly excited because you now have every right to judge and criticize my work (or love it!). There are a lot of people who have worked very hard on bringing Chasing Shadows in Borrowed Light to the marketplace – they deserve to be supported. If you have ever been on the verge of buying my book, stumbling upon this article might be a sign.
The author is a lawyer, novelist and a poet. She has earned her MFA in publishing and contemporary fiction from Emerson College, Boston. She has authored four books, including a collection of poetry by the name, ‘The Unbridled Romance of Love and Pain.’ Her novel, ‘Eye on the Prize,’ was made into a TV series named Dauur. Her third book, ‘The Idle Stance of the Tippler Pigeon,’ was launched in the UK by Neem Tree Press and was shortlisted for the Asian Fiction Prize 2023. Her latest novel, ‘Chasing Shadows in Borrowed Light,’ released in April this month, from The Dreamwork Collective. Safinah is also the founder of an award-winning independent publishing house, Reverie Publishers.